Saint Anything Review

*I was
given an Advanced Release Copy of this title by NetGalley in exchange for an
honest review, find Saint Anything on shelves (and online!)
everywhere May 5th*  

As a devout Dessen fan, I had a complete stage five melt down when I read on her blog a while back that
she had “abandoned” her current book and we may not be seeing a new release
this summer, then I realized that Saint Anything was in fact on the
way, and I knew I had to get my hands on it before it released. Because of you wonderful
readers, and my students, I got to review the title early! 


Sarah Dessen is one of my
favorite girly YA writers. Many people are claiming that Dessen has abandoned
her traditional storytelling, and I wouldn’t entirely disagree. If like me you
fell hard for love stories like Macy and Wes, Remy and Dexter, Annabel and
Owen, or Eli and Auden you likely won’t be head over heels for Saint
Anything. However, if you were like me and while you loved the first
romance tales but LOVED the devastating heartbreak brought to us by 

Dessen in Dreamland
you’re going to be a complete fanatic over this darker coming of age
story. 

This story is a life
story, with a pure romance tale woven into the background. As readers we follow
Sydney—a teenager attending Perkins Day (Yes, THAT Perkins Day) and watching
the ripples of the tidal wave known as Peyton, her older brother has left
behind. When her brother, the proverbial repetitive offending golden child is
brought to justice after a DUI injuring a town hero, Sydney’s life is changed.
With Peyton out of the direct light of her mother and father Sydney finds
herself no longer entirely invisible. We follow Sydney making her own path, out
from under the heavy weight that her brother’s shadow cast. Finding herself as
a new school, with new friends, family, safety, and love the reader sees a true
story arch with Saint Anything. 

My second favorite part?
The fact that like in almost all of Sarah Dessen’s novels, she gives you a
glimpse or two into the “where are they now?” of some of her past characters.
Readers of Dreamland you won’t believe who a certain antagonist is up
to…

Run to your favorite book
store to grab the newest Dessen book when it hits shelves this May!!

You can preorder from
Amazon here! 

At The Water's Edge Review

*I was given an Advanced Release Copy of this title by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review, find At Water's Edge on shelves everywhere March 31st* 

Well I think that I have a new love. Sara Gruen truly captured my heart with Water For Elephants, but I will admit she and I are back in a love-love relationship with this book. Immediately, I realized that I wasn’t going to be entertained with fantasies of circuses and performers. This would have disappointed me, if my curiosity wasn’t quickly sparked with the discovery that I’d be reading about the Loch Ness Monster.

The story opens on three financially privileged young adults getting roaring drunk at a war time New Year’s Eve celebration. Ellis and Hank have been left behind from the war. Ellis for being colorblind, Hank for his flat feet.

“If Hank was Clark Gable, then Ellis was a towheaded, clean-shaved Errol Flynn.”

Ellis and his wife Maddie are quite disappointing to Ellis’s father, a former army Colonel who has his own shame to handle on top of his son’s failure to serve in WWII. After an explosive argument between the hangover son and easily angered Colonel, newly cut-off Ellis decides that the only way to regain his father’s approval and money is to right his family’s name.

The Colonel, like many people at the time, became swept into the whirlwind surrounding the Monster at Loch Ness and after returning with photographic evidence was branded a phony and forger. Ellis and Hank decide that they’ll achieve adventure and succeed where Ellis’s father had failed—by finding emphatic proof that the monster exists. The trio make their way to Scotland quite literally in the middle of the war.

Maddie is miserable, angry, and hopeless when they finally arrive to Scotland. After witnessing injured soldiers being pulled from the ocean after a German U boat attack, we find that Maddie truly begins to stir from her old life. It becomes apparent that her husband and his best friend will forever prioritize hunting the monster without regard for what Hitler and the Germans are causing. Throw in the ladies that Maddie befriends at the Inn the trio are residing in, and the handsomely mysterious Inn Keeper and you have a lovely romance tale.

Was this as amazing as Water For Elephants? No. It was an amazing historical novel with many elements that I adored reading. Sara Gruen does a lot of things very well in this novel. One of them was transporting the reader to another time and place entirely. Evoking my curiosity for cryptids and old Scottish Inns. If you like a little romance and drama with your historical fiction, than I highly suggest you pick up a copy of Sara Gruen’s At the Water’s Edge as soon as it hits shelves later this month.

Thanks, NetGalley for giving me an ARC of this title in exchange for an honest review!

Vigilante Poets of Selwyn Academy

Allow me to paint another picture for you. Seventeen year old Jordan in her parent's living room watching rerun upon rerun of Laguna Beach and vigilantly trying to make all of heroutfits for school look as similar to Kristin's (because obviously LC was overrated) as humanly possible for the upcoming week. I am a nothing, if not a reality television junkie. This is much to my mother's dismay, but hey...RHONJ is better than 90% of any scripted drama on television. Seventeen year old Jordan LOVED this book, almost as much as twenty four year old Jordan did. 

So many times in the past two or three years I've gravitated towards books labeled YA (Young Adult) that have such adult-style content, that I feel they've been improperly labeled. There has been some peculiar shift where so many YA books have main characters that are sexy, risky behaving "young adults" that are beyond the reach of many students/young adults gravitating towards YA on shelves. My favorite thing about this book, is how realistic and flawed the main characters are. Not once in the entire day or two I spent reading this book did I feel like I was reading a romance novel, a heartbreaking cancer ridden story, a dystopian trilogy, or something that I think is standard YA.

Ethan Andrezejczak, the male narrator/main character is none of the things a somewhat typical YA hero are. He's certainly not smooth with the ladies, he's not quite sexy, and the only clique he fits in with is the underachieving/underwhelming performers at Selwyn. He's incredibly loyal to his friends, hilarious, an animal lover, older brother to triplets, lover of three, and reflective...I loved him.  He also pegs the book on the fifth page by stating that, 

"It's about reality TV, a desperate crush on a ballerina, and a heroic gerbil named Baconnaise. But mostly it's about my friends. Please remember: not art, just life."

As an English major, English teacher, and a resident Bibliophile this book made my reader's heart very happy. For a lot of teenage readers, the Ezra Pound references and the poetry throughout the book could be a bit hard to grasp. However, as a graduate of the finest of arts, I am not entirely sure that anyone can ever really "grasp" Ezra Pound fully until they hold a doctoral degree. You can consider yourself a quasi-expert when you finish The Vigilante Poets of Selwyn Academy.

Selwyn Academy is a special high school for the gifted and talented students of the Arts. Ethan narrates our entire story with a grace and humor that I found to be sarcastic in the best way possible. Ethan's average at music and average at drawing, but in a school where everyone is spectacular at something he frequently describes himself as Untalented. His dream girl is Maura, the ballerina. His arch nemesis is Miki F.R., a Broadway triple threat.  His best friend is an expert writer, and activist. Surrounded by so much exception, Ethan seems entirely content to be mediocre while others around him flourish. 

Life is great at Selwyn, until kTV has decided to film a new reality television show, For Art's Sake! at the school. The show is set to pit nineteen of Selwyn's best students against each other every week (they compete in challenges weekly and every week someone is sent home) to win the grand prize...a $100,000.00 scholarship to the performing arts college of the winner's choosing. The general feeling surrounding the television show filming at Selwyn is energetic. Aside from Ethan and his group of friends, who quickly realize that having TV crews filling the hallways and sending students into he-said-she-did editing situations had compromised the Art-Education environment they deserve and expect from Selwyn. Administration thinks they are foolish for raging against the machine, and after studying Ezra Pound in English (led by their favorite teacher, of course) the group decide to narrate the mishaps and hazards of For Art's Sake! intrusion in their own long poem. They title it, The Contracantos, and it's amazing. 

These characters are absolutely amazing. You're going to learn a lot about WitSOOTT (Selwyn slang term for Wikepedia-the-shit-out-of-that-thing) , a little about interrobangs, anaphora, and how to train a hamster to tight-rope walk. This entire book is really just wonderful, and I loved every minute of it. If you want to read a refreshing book where romance takes a back seat, English jokes fly, and teenagers take a real stand against their new injustice...you're going to love this. Do you love literature? Read it. Do you love art? Read it. Do you enjoy dancing? Read it. Did you watch the movie Step-Up with Channing Tatum and enjoy the thought of going to a special school for talented kids? Read it!

Some of my favorite quotes?

"I have a strict policy of holding automatic grudges against people everyone likes." (I think it was in this moment on page 2, I knew I loved Ethan. 

"As for Elizabeth...I rarely even remember she's a girl, but, like, objectively speaking, she's got keen eyes and wild hair and some not insubstantial curves in the chesticular region." 

"Artistic talent gives you street cred at Selwyn. (Unless you play the harp, in which case it destroys any street cred you have, which is probably none, since you play the harp.) "

The eight types of happy birthday wishes you get on Facebook

Every year I wake up on January 29^th, and I've turned another year older.  For the last five or so years I’ve been annually awoken with the multiple greetings smattered across my social media page (Facebook) exclaiming salutations towards my day of birth. This usually sets my heart into a state of warmth and, “Aww I haven’t talked to Susy Chapstick since senior year at Maci Mascara’s house party.” 

          Every year I make it a point to sit down at the end of my birthday evening, to actually read through and respond to my birthday wishes.  *My mother is notorious for having my sister and I send thank you notes, make calls of thanksgiving, etc. so I always figure I’ll do “the Jil!” a solid and respond individually.* This year, however, I felt a wide range of emotions as I responded to these comments. Ask anyone around me, and they’ll tell you I felt quite cynical towards turning one-shy of twenty five, so maybe that’s where this angst induced rant came from. Something about twenty four made me finally ask myself the question of, "Who actually wishes me a happy birthday? Who are these people?"

          After sitting and staring at my computer screen for several minutes in complete awe, I realized that I had hardly spoken to ¾ of the well-wishers in the previous four or so years. Following this epiphany, I immediately attempted to organize the different “types” of happy birthday messages that I received from people and those who sent them for you. I know, I need to take up yoga again or something else semi-productive. Anyway, here’s what I have come up with.

The family

          The first kind of message was the kind from people like my fiancé, my sister, my closest friends, and assorted family members. 9/10 of these wonderful people had either called me or sent me a hilarious, “Happy birthday ya old hussy” message filled with a heinous emoji before the day was out. One of my absolute favorites this year came from one of my oldest and closest friends Amy, who now lives in FL filled with inside jokes that anyone but 8^th grade Jordan had long since forgotten and now can’t stop laughing about. 

The  that-one-timer

These are the people that you likely know through a friend of a friend of a family member. Perhaps you were my waiter at the Olive Garden and I thought you were a nice person, so I added you on Facebook. I couldn’t tell you this person’s middle name, where they went to high school, or what kind of book they’d like to read—but I can place the name/face. I’m equal parts flattered, and suspicious of why they’d take their time to wish me a happy birthday. 

Your parent’s friend

Since you’re the offspring of their friend, they’ve added you on Facebook. They’ve also liked numerous pictures that you’ve posted with your parents in them and assorted life events. You’ve constantly asked those around you, “Who is *insert parent’s friend name*?” and been genuinely stumped that you can’t figure them out. Until your parent tells you, “Sandra—you know Sandra, from my BUNKO club? She said that she saw the sweetest picture of you and Matt the other day!“ and it suddenly all makes sense. Thank you, friend of my parent liking my parents enough to wish their genetic reproduction a happy birthday. You’re cool. 

Your coworkers

This one makes me laugh in multiple ways. There should really be a sub category here. There are the coworkers that will wish you a happy birthday on Facebook, and subsequently will smile and wish you a happy birthday in person, or even via interoffice email. These people make my life happy. On the other side of the sliding scale, you have the people that have obviously forgotten to look at Facebook and then feel horrible for not wishing you a happy birthday at work and do so when they get home via everyone’s favorite personal public space. I love these people too, because I’m forever one of you.

The one that could have at least sent you a text

This is my least favorite. Although we are all guilty of doing this at least a couple of times a year, it still doesn’t feel great being on the receiving line of the happy birthday from the person that you thought would care enough to send you a text message, or send you a HBD Snapchat of their dark bedroom. All this does is tell me just how little you value our “friendship” and make me make a mental note that I’m going to be just as petty as you are and not text you on your birthday, either. Why? Because, I’m a ginger and I’m wicked fantastic at holding a grudge.

The awkward (non) acknowledgement

For me, this always seems to be the random boys from high school that used to message me things like, “hey sup” and then a “?” after my two day non-acknowledgement of their poor attempt at gleaning my attention. The “HBD” you left on my Facebook timeline makes me remember just how awkward your messages used to make me feel for you.

The unexpected kindness

I was blessed with several of these this year. These messages are from people that you associate often enough with online or in person to expect to hear from them, or at least hope to. These people go beyond the, “Happy birthday” or “Happy birthday, Jordan!” to add a heartfelt note of birthday adoration into your day. As I’m typing one sticks out in my mind right now is one from someone I consider a high school acquaintance, and an online pal, Nicole.

“Happy birthday!! Jordan, you have such a beautiful spirit and heart. I hope your day overflows with love and happiness!” Well, Nicole, you made my day and I smiled really big when I read and responded to your salutation! (PSNicole has a super cool blog, you can find her here!)

This year, the coolest unexpected kindness birthday messages came from parents of students current and past. They all brought tears to my eyes, and helped me remember why I didn’t even think about taking a “mental health” day on my birthday!

The one that forgot

The friend that you really expected to hear from, and didn’t. This one stings.

The sad truth about Facebook and birthdays comes fully into perspective when I am taking a whole ten seconds out of my morning to post on various people’s timelines to wish them a happy birthday and realize that I’m quite desensitized to the entire social norm of birthdays. Since using Facebook, wishing my “friends” a happy birthday has become a robotic, methodical part of waking up. Still, I think that I like to create a personal memento with my “standard” birthday greeting by adding a little extra note or quip about our friendship. Recently I wished a friend a happy birthday and called him by his freshman year nickname—which although I’m entirely sure was appreciated, I know he paused as he was reading it to think about it!

Don’t get it warped, I LOVE birthdays. I adore being serenaded around my family’s dinner table, I love the rush of opening birthday cards and gifts, and I especially look forward to listening to my grandparent’s singing me happy birthday on the wrong day.  As much as I’d like to think otherwise, I truly do look forward to waking up next January 29^th 2016 and beyond to see how many of these wonderful people took their ten seconds to immortalize their birthday words onto my Facebook life.

You Review

You, may easily be my impossible to beat number one spot of 2015. Although this declaration may seem quite premature, I completed this book almost one week ago and still find reasons to discuss it with EVERYONE, everyday. Allow me to preface this love letter to this novel with the fact that You is quite possibly one of the most disturbing books I’ve ever read.  It’s also very sexually explicit, so that can be a bit much for some readers. You was funny, romantic, twisted, deplorable, and aggressive all in one effortlessly combined package. It certainly is not a book I find myself recommending to people that found Gone Girl disconcerting – but to the select few that I know share an affinity for the darker plot lines in life, I’ve been berating them with the need to read this book. The ones that have—all adore it as much as I.

I also feel the need to say that I have absolutely no problem admitting that throughout this book, I was equal parts petrified, and enchanted by the main character. You see, Joe is an expert stalker. Not the kind of boy that lounged about near your locker in high school, hoping that you would notice him. That is simply child's play compared to what Joe is capable of. Joe’s the I-hide-in-your-closet-and-watch-you-breath type of stalker.

As a reader, I knew that my love for Caroline Kepnes, Joe, and You was sealed in the first chapter. When Joe sets eyes on his newest obsession, Beck, browsing the F-K section of the bookstore he operates, he makes the following statement.

“You’re flirting and if I was the kind of asshole who Instagrams, I would photograph the F-K placard and

filter the shit out of that baby and caption it: F-K yes,

I found her.”

Caroline Kepnes captures the art of stream of conscience

writing, and makes reading Joe’s thoughts and processing was an absolute pleasure. Now don’t get me wrong, Joe’s a complete psycho. I mean, textbook case psychopath and homicidal freak. But the way that Joe thinks, and rationalizes every single decision that he has made, as a reader I felt empathetic!! It’s amazing!

         I recently compared this book to Gone Girl to a friend on Instragram. She said that Amazon recommended the book to her based off of her love of Gone Girl, but to me there is no comparison. Reading Gone Girl for me was interesting, I adored the thrill of the story but I hated that none of the characters really had any redeeming qualities. I found myself really wanting horrible endings for almost everyone in the story. The exact opposite it true of how I felt reading You.

         No matter how much wretched, disturbing, wtf, moments I read—I still held out so much hope that Joe would change, that he could really be happy with Beck, and that they would have a happy ending. A really jacked up happy ending, but that they would still have something good.  I found myself laughing out loud at more than one point at horribly innapropriate times. I mean, when someone has a guy trapped in a cage it’s likely not good form to laugh at him being tortured…but Joe made me! Which is crazy, and if you read You you’ll totally understand. Caroline Kepnes made me root for, take up the mantel for, and want to encourage a real villain. Which is crazy talented, and I would love to sit down with Caroline and just learn how all of this blissfully orchestrated craziness poured from her brain and onto the page.

I loved:

• The social media woven into the story. Reading Benji’s tweets, and the emails to and from Beck and her gals really made me laugh and kept the story so real.
• Joe’s description of Ikea- “It smells like body odor and Febreze and baby shit and farts and meatballs and nail polish and more baby shit—doesn’t anyone get a babysitter anymore?”
• I can’t believe I am saying this, but I loved the second person narration. I usually find it poorly done, but Caroline Kepnes…is a wizard.
• Any scene where Joe would elude to the fact that he knew that the things he was doing were crazy, although necessary.
• The writing, oh my heavens, the writing was amazing.
• That Caroline Kepnes is writing A SEQUEL!!!!!!! !@)#(!@#!!!

Loved not so much:

• I really wanted more of the normal daily happenings when Joe and Beck are in their relationship. In my head it was super normal and great, but it would have been really great to see that more illustrated.
• I’ll never be able to check out at a locally owned bookstore the same way, ever, again.
• That we have to wait until September (or earlier, please Netgalley!) to read Love to see where Joe is now.

This book was one that I literally could not put down.  It has a magnetic pull that I was powerless against. My friend and coworker recommended this to me to read, and when she did she mentioned that the book was, “ like Gone Girl times infinity. Mixed with some Stolen. Everything my heart needs.” Jamie, you have never been more right in your life.