Every year I wake up on January 29th,
and I've turned another year older. For the last
five or so years I’ve been annually awoken with the multiple greetings
smattered across my social media page (Facebook) exclaiming salutations towards
my day of birth. This usually sets my heart into a state of warmth and, “Aww I
haven’t talked to Susy Chapstick since senior year at Maci Mascara’s house
party.”
Every year I make
it a point to sit down at the end of my birthday evening, to actually read
through and respond to my birthday wishes. *My mother is notorious for having my sister
and I send thank you notes, make calls of thanksgiving, etc. so I always figure
I’ll do “the Jil!” a solid and respond individually.* This year, however, I felt
a wide range of emotions as I responded to these comments. Ask anyone around
me, and they’ll tell you I felt quite cynical towards turning one-shy of twenty
five, so maybe that’s where this angst induced rant came from. Something about twenty four made me finally ask myself the question of, "Who actually wishes me a happy birthday? Who are these people?"
After sitting
and staring at my computer screen for several minutes in complete awe, I realized that I had
hardly spoken to ¾ of the well-wishers in the previous four or so years.
Following this epiphany, I immediately attempted to organize the different “types”
of happy birthday messages that I received from people and those who sent them for you.
I know, I need to take up yoga again or something else semi-productive. Anyway, here’s
what I have come up with.
The family
The first kind
of message was the kind from people like my fiancé, my sister, my closest
friends, and assorted family members. 9/10 of these wonderful people had either
called me or sent me a hilarious, “Happy birthday ya old hussy” message filled
with a heinous emoji before the day was out. One of my absolute favorites this
year came from one of my oldest and closest friends Amy, who now lives in FL
filled with inside jokes that anyone but 8th grade Jordan had long
since forgotten and now can’t stop laughing about.
The that-one-timer
These are the people that you likely
know through a friend of a friend of a family member. Perhaps you were my
waiter at the Olive Garden and I thought you were a nice person, so I added you
on Facebook. I couldn’t tell you this person’s middle name, where they went to
high school, or what kind of book they’d like to read—but I can place the
name/face. I’m equal parts flattered, and suspicious of why they’d take their
time to wish me a happy birthday.
Your parent’s friend
Since you’re the offspring of their friend, they’ve
added you on Facebook. They’ve also liked numerous pictures that you’ve posted
with your parents in them and assorted life events. You’ve constantly asked
those around you, “Who is *insert parent’s friend name*?” and been genuinely
stumped that you can’t figure them out. Until your parent tells you, “Sandra—you
know Sandra, from my BUNKO club? She said that she saw the sweetest picture of
you and Matt the other day!“ and it suddenly all makes sense. Thank you, friend
of my parent liking my parents enough to wish their genetic reproduction a
happy birthday. You’re cool.
Your coworkers
This one
makes me laugh in multiple ways. There should really be a sub category here.
There are the coworkers that will wish you a happy birthday on Facebook, and
subsequently will smile and wish you a happy birthday in person, or even via
interoffice email. These people make my life happy. On the other side of the
sliding scale, you have the people that have obviously forgotten to look at
Facebook and then feel horrible for not wishing you a happy birthday at work
and do so when they get home via everyone’s favorite personal public space. I
love these people too, because I’m forever one of you.
The one that could have at least sent you a text
This is my least favorite. Although
we are all guilty of doing this at least a couple of times a year, it still
doesn’t feel great being on the receiving line of the happy birthday from the
person that you thought would care
enough to send you a text message, or send you a HBD Snapchat of their dark
bedroom. All this does is tell me just how little you value our “friendship”
and make me make a mental note that I’m going to be just as petty as you are
and not text you on your birthday, either. Why? Because, I’m a ginger and I’m
wicked fantastic at holding a grudge.
The awkward (non) acknowledgement
For me, this always seems to be the
random boys from high school that used to message me things like, “hey sup” and
then a “?” after my two day non-acknowledgement of their poor attempt at
gleaning my attention. The “HBD” you left on my Facebook timeline makes me remember
just how awkward your messages used to make me feel for you.
The unexpected kindness
I was blessed with several of these this year. These
messages are from people that you associate often enough with online or in
person to expect to hear from them, or at least hope to. These people go beyond
the, “Happy birthday” or “Happy birthday, Jordan!” to add a heartfelt note of
birthday adoration into your day. As I’m typing one sticks out in my mind right
now is one from someone I consider a high school acquaintance, and an online
pal, Nicole.
“Happy birthday!! Jordan, you have
such a beautiful spirit and heart. I hope your day overflows with love and
happiness!” Well, Nicole, you made my day and I smiled really big when I read
and responded to your salutation! (PSNicole has a super cool blog, you can find her here!)
This year, the coolest unexpected
kindness birthday messages came from parents of students current and past. They
all brought tears to my eyes, and helped me remember why I didn’t even think
about taking a “mental health” day on my birthday!
The one that forgot
The friend that you really expected
to hear from, and didn’t. This one stings.
The sad truth about Facebook and
birthdays comes fully into perspective when I am taking a whole ten seconds out
of my morning to post on various people’s timelines to wish them a happy
birthday and realize that I’m quite desensitized to the entire social norm of
birthdays. Since using Facebook, wishing my “friends” a happy birthday has
become a robotic, methodical part of waking up. Still, I think that I like to
create a personal memento with my “standard” birthday greeting by adding a
little extra note or quip about our friendship. Recently I wished a friend a
happy birthday and called him by his freshman year nickname—which although I’m
entirely sure was appreciated, I know he paused as he was reading it to think
about it!
Don’t get it warped, I LOVE
birthdays. I adore being serenaded around my family’s dinner table, I love the
rush of opening birthday cards and gifts, and I especially look forward to
listening to my grandparent’s singing me happy birthday on the wrong day. As much as I’d like to think otherwise, I
truly do look forward to waking up next January 29th 2016 and beyond
to see how many of these wonderful people took their ten seconds to immortalize
their birthday words onto my Facebook life.
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